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10-Nov-2017 22:01

Although it is a normal and natural blessing from God to have head lice, you should certainly wash your hair before your date if only for the reason to avoid the temptation of putting your arm around the young lady while lifting to scratch your head.

Spend the day before your date with at least 6-hours of solitary prayer in a prayer-closet or a confined area. Ask Jesus to help you control your lust and pray that you will have a nightly emission before the date, thus making it easier for your carnal mind to operate on a level that is strictly spiritual.

If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of - otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

Some Christian phrases that will help you "woo" the lesser sex are, "I'm almost as crazy about you as I am about Jesus," "Your long hair is the glory of your humility (I Corinthians 11: 11-15)," and "God broke the mold when he made your sweet face."Make certain that there is no personal contact (PC) on this first date.

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Click here for more detailed spiritual guidance on masturbation. For the Christian man, every date is a potential mate.

Here are a few tips to get you prepared for your first date.